kourtnee.michelle

Started From the Bottom Now We’re… Back at the Bottom

Today I feel a kindred connection to Jo March as she cried in the night on behalf of her ‘one beauty’. Long story short, I botched my hair. My 4-month grow out journey turned the clock back to zero. What started as a simple root touch up turned into a 48-hour test of my sanity. Walking into Sally’s Beauty Supply store for the fourth time in two days, crying and wrestling with my frantic child was a sight to see, let me tell you! The look of horror on the rainbow-haired Gen Z’s faces when my red Prius pulled into the front lot yet again was worthy of a polaroid. But I swallowed my pride, donned my beanie, and marched to the hair color isle with my hairdresser best friend on FaceTime. With patience and grace, she held my hand (virtually), reassuring me that everybody makes mistakes and it’s nothing that a 5N can’t fix.

Feeling a sense of relief (and sheepishness) I throw back the hair color swatches that my son ripped off the shelf while I was distracted and march us both over to the cash register. Without missing a beat, the adorable girl with a giant septum piercing asked, “Didn’t you just buy bleach and toner?” Humbled, I tried desperately to think of a reasonable response. Thankfully, my son has impeccable timing and made all the girls laugh by asking if the face masks displayed in front of us were poisonous. (I owe you a Happy Meal, little man.) I hurriedly paid and left the store, praying it was the last time.

The weekend that started high hopes of a chin length cool blonde bob ended with a warm red/brown pixie cut. Now, the whole reason I bring this up here on Modern Mommie is this: Hormones change your hair, and it’s the worst. This bleach and toner recipe was not new to me. I was not experimenting with products I’d never used before. I have done this dozens of times! I loved the results and could not quite figure out what the deal was. But looking back, it was all pre-2018. Pre-baby. Since the hormone shifts, my hair just does not lift like it used to. I can’t really explain it, but I know it’s real. To reach the same blonde levels, I must do twice the processing, twice the damage and sometimes it just still does not work at all.

These are just my own observations. It’s not the same for everyone but I have two lessons that I have learned through this awful experience.

Just because something worked once, doesn’t mean it will be the exact same next time.

Hormones can affect our natural hair color as well as the way hair color is processed, whether we are at a salon or at home. Even simply the hormonal changes around our cycle. Don’t be blindsided by that. (Seriously, look it up. It’s a real thing.)

Go to a professional when you are bleaching your hair.

I feel comfortable touching up my own roots with a simple brown or something. The margin of error is quite a bit less. But my god, please see an experienced hair stylist if you want blonde. It may not be cheap, but it is so worth it. It’s an intricate process. An art. I may look at a Monet or Van Gogh and think I can easily replicate it. How hard can it be, right? It’s hard. Don’t do it. Leave the art to the artist.

So here I am. Started from the bottom now we’re… back at the bottom Drake.

Mom Thoughts

It has been two years since I’ve put pen to paper (or fingers to keys in this case) to write out my thoughts on motherhood and mental health. Nose to the grindstone, I guess.

My son is within a few weeks of his fifth birthday, though, and I find myself wondering if the effects of postpartum run, not in an immediate spike then a downward turn that leads you back to your old self but rather in a straight line that continues indefinitely. Most days are filled to the point of blurriness and energy seems to be more and more of an elusive dream and yet I find motherhood to be equally as energizing as it is exhausting. (Eh, maybe 60-40) A feeling unlike anything I have ever experienced before. The physical and emotional drain is concurrent with a stronger mental determination to keep moving forward that is unshakable.

I recently likened motherhood to an energy source. Our precious offspring are in a constant state of growth and development requiring an unending need for attention, love, food, physical touch, warmth, safety, care and, essentially, energy. Where do they plug into this energy supply? You. Mom. You are their constant source. Like the cutest little leeches you’ve ever seen, your babies suck the vital force from your body and mind on a constant, daily basis. This is not to demonize motherhood as a fate worse than death. Rather, to affirm the feelings and struggles silently experienced by mothers in all corners of the world. Women feeling that even the mention of such struggles would somehow betray her love of her child. She swallows it back with her Lexapro and morning espresso.

Yet, despite this depletion, we find ourselves ferociously fighting on behalf of our babies without relenting. This is something that needs to be acknowledged, celebrated even. Not in the kitschy coffee mug way. I mean in substantial appreciation and understanding from others. You show up every day with your own battles being shoved aside. I’m fortunate to have a supportive circle of loved ones, but I know this is not the case for everyone. Not even the majority, sad to say. So, if you see a mommy with a sour expression on her face in the grocery line or looks like she “let herself go” because she chose leggings and a sweatshirt over sexy jeans and makeup, please give her some grace. She’s trying. She’s breaking generational curses. She’s lying awake at night thinking of homeschool curriculums and how she’s going to convince her four-year-old to eat dinner and pray they grow to be strong and healthy despite only eating protein bars and chicken nuggets and licking the Target carts. She has a little, beautiful, sparkling life that’s plugged in to her and all she wants in the world is for them to have a full battery.

Breastfeeding Anxiety – (Yeah, it’s a real thing, and it has a name)

“You’ll be fine mama, this is normal. Every mother does it.”

“Don’t stress about it. That will affect your milk supply! Just be calm.”

“If you don’t breastfeed, you will never bond with your baby. Just push through, don’t give up.”

“If you use formula, you might as well be poisoning your baby.”

These kindly (and not so kindly) meant words are so encouraging, right? Mmm no.

Breastfeeding is a beautiful and fascinating aspect of motherhood. The body’s ability to produce a life-sustaining substance with more nutrients and benefits than one could even imagine possible seems like a fool proof activity. However, this is the ideal situation and it’s just not the case with every mother. Unfortunate as it is, there is a wide range of reasons why breastfeeding may actually not the best the best option for you and your baby.

Some moms have won the fight against breast cancer but have had to adjust to life without breasts. Some have had to deal with insufficient glandular tissue or hormone issues that cause their breasts to produce no milk. Yet others have had to deal with the silent pain of a condition called D-MER. My heart goes out to every woman who finds herself in one (or many) of these situations. But absolutely nothing could break the bond of love between these mothers and their children. Bonds that were formed, not by breastfeeding, but by love, caring, holding, talking, singing, cleaning and protecting their babies.

One of the conditions that a new mother might find herself experiencing is one I mentioned above – D-MER. I had never heard of this until recently but to know that what I experienced was a real disorder and not because I failed at being a mother has brought much comfort to me, and may do the same for you.

What is D-MER?

D-MER or Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex is a spectrum type disorder so what it looks like for you will probably be different to that of another mom. D-MER is a dysfunction in the mechanism that allows breast milk to flow and can cause negative emotions for anywhere from 30 seconds to two minutes at milk letdown, according to Alia Macrina Heise, IBCLC, CLE, CPD, a lactation consultant in Naples, New York, who is credited with pioneering research on D-MER. This field of study has only been around for about 10 years, though, so there is not a lot of information about it, other than than the experiences of mothers dealing with this rare condition.

I am still continuing to learn much about this but from what I can deduce, this is not a psychological disorder like post-partum depression or other anxiety disorders but a physiological disorder. When breastfeeding, dopamine levels drop in order for prolactin levels to rise and create the milk ” let down”. If there is too steep of a drop in dopamine, this can triggers feelings ranging anywhere from mild anxiety and irritability to major panic, anger and paranoia among other things.

By absolutely no fault of their own, some mothers suffer from the frustrating and difficult to potentially debilitating problem while breastfeeding – most of the time being told that it is totally normal.

There is an endless amount of information we could learn about the human body and scientists have barely scratched the surface. Now, more than ever, we should be compassionate and understanding. We may not know what a new mom is dealing with. She may not even know.

Be loving, patient, supportive and understanding. She really needs it.

My Experience.

Right before the nurse checked his blood sugar.

While I’m fascinated with the complexity of D-MER, I don’t know for sure that I had this condition or just hit the perfect storm of unfortunate circumstances that made breastfeeding impossible, but I can certainly relate.

Parker was born with very low blood sugar. Before we could even attempt a successful feed, he needed glucose syrup and a bottle of formula. I had no milk yet and he was five minutes from being taken to the NICU. There was no other option. Due to the quick action from the pediatric nurse, Parker’s blood sugar slowly began to rise to a safe and healthy level. He was no longer lethargic and I was no longer panicking. Without that formula and intervention, my story would have a very different ending.

However, with that came a very lazy eater. Coupled with his overbite and my low milk production. Well, you can guess. What followed was two months of lactation consultant appointments, crying, sleepless nights, more crying and ultimately, hefty breastfeeding anxiety. Every time I felt milk come in, I also felt scared. My nipples were black and blue, my baby was hungry and I was losing my joy.

At this point I realized that it was way more important for my baby to eat and for him to have a mom that was happy and rested than for me to fulfill this unrealistic understanding that I could only be a good mom if I exclusively breastfed. That was bogus. Formula was plan B, but without it, I would not have my baby or my sanity.

Attempting to feed. He had a terrible latch and the pain was excruciating.

Whatever your circumstances, please know that when you do your personal best within the realm of your own limitations and prioritize your baby’s health and happiness along with your own health and happiness, both physical and mental, you are a good mom. The first year is not easy. Everything is new and tough and crazy. But it ends and before you know it, you’re kid is almost three and telling you “Mom, you bought the wrong Kombucha! I like the blue one.”

We’re just fine.

Mom Tip June 16, 2021

Oh my, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve even blogged AT ALL. The past year in particular has been one of lessons learned. Now that I’m getting myself back to some semblance of normal function, I have LOTS to say. I will finally get to that.

But one quick tip I want to share for moms this summer is the power of the car tote!

I was getting sooooooooooooo tired of lugging around everything in my purse, I couldn’t take it anymore. Most of the time I would forget to bring the necessary things because we are in that transition phase between a baby with a diaper bag and a self-sufficient kid.

I usually pack snacks that won’t melt, a book, diapers, change of clothes and undies in case of accidents, empty grocery bags and anything else appropriate for the seasons.

Get you a car tote, you will not regret it.

hey guys

So it’s been a while.
The last six months have been a definite learning lesson in so many ways. One thing I have learned, and I cannot stress it enough, is the value of self-care. I’m not talking about being self-centered or self-obsessed. These things are promoted so much in the world today and that’s not what I’m about. Caring for yourself, on the other hand, is a form of caring for others. This is a lesson that has been hard learned for me as well as my husband. While we are still on this journey ( have just begun it, in fact ) and have by no means mastered it in our lives, we have found out just how important it is.
Each person has their own unique make-up and genetic code. There is no exact formula that works for everyone. We all have to find out what works for us. Some people can sleep for four hours and proceed to have a thoroughly productive day. Others sleep for ten and still can’t seem to make it through without multiple trips to he coffee machine. (that’s me) One thing self-care is not, however, is thinking we can do whatever feels right to us at any given moment and that’s all that matters. Sometimes its being aware enough to know we need boundaries and being brave enough to set them for ourselves. Know your limits and respect them. Be open to adjusting and adapting. Set goals for yourself and if something is not working for you, change it! Here are a few things I’ve noticed to be helpful and maybe you can relate.

Stop the binge.
TV. Snacks. Even exercise and sleep! whenever I’m feeling out of control emotionally and just plain awful physically, usually there is something I’m not balancing. Binge-watching my favorite show feels like an escape and a respite I need in that moment, but inevitably I’ve neglected some important task or simply stayed idle so long that my back hurts worse than when I started. But busting out a two hour booty boot camp out of guilt after spending six months on the couch will hurt me more than help. That’s why my motivational word for 2020 is BALANCE. Doing nothing is harmful but doing everything is impossible. Find your balance and resist the urge be all or nothing.
Communicate.
Being an island never served anyone. Some of the worst days I have ever been through were a result of a lack of communication. My husband, Matt, is the sort to take the world on his shoulders and soldier on through difficulties in a mask of stoic silence. While the ability to carry on through tough times is such an admirable quality, our bodies and brains were not created to hold it all in indefinitely. Find someone you trust and tell them what’s going on with you. It doesn’t have to be pretty or make sense. Just talk. Not everyone will understand and that’s okay. they don’t have to. Just saying how we feel out loud is a therapy in itself. Not on Facebook or Twitter but real, face-to-face communication. And every once in a while, a person does understand. Sometimes more than we could even imagine. It’s hard to break away from the trivial and get down to the nitty-gritty. It is hard to put your trust in someone enough to share who you are deep inside because you might get hurt, i know. But do it. Talk to your friend, partner, parent or sibling. share the load, it makes it lighter.
Have Fun!
Whoever said laughter is the best medicine is, like, really smart.
Last Saturday, all I wanted to do was sleep. I felt so mentally exhausted and was in one of those head spaces where you feel like none of your friends actually like you and your just so lame that you should probably stay home. Everyone will just be focused on the fact that I’ve gained weight since having my baby and maybe they see me different now. I do. Ugh! (Boo Hoo Pity Party. Table for one.) I usually love being with my friends and crave socializing and connecting with people. Sometimes, though, our brain lies to us and it’s hard not to listen. Harder still to get out of the negative mindset. This particular Saturday we were invited to a family dance party at a friend’s house and decided to get out of our own way and go. It was so good for us. We were really feeling the love and laughing hysterically at everyone’s antics. After a couple hours, I found myself completely turned around and lip-syncing my favorite songs with gusto. (Wham!, is that you?) Watching my one-year-old son dance his way across the floor with his sagging diaper and bottle of milk definitely helped too.
Life is hard and busy and crazy but taking the time to just put it away for a few hours and have some genuine fun can really carry you through. Don’t pass up opportunities to let your hair down. In fact, create those opportunities. Find the ones in your life that lift you up, and make it happen. Call them for coffee or a walk by the river. Have them to your house and cook together or play a game. (Catan, anyone?) It can be the healing we need to see things the way they are and not they way we think they are.
Drink Water
It sounds simple, right? But oh how important! It’s so easy to get dehydrated, especially in these cold winter months. All I want to drink is coffee and tea and more coffee. Maybe some wine. But walking around trying to function and use your brain is hard enough. Not drinking water starves our brain and makes everything harder. I have heard it said that drinking a nice, cold glass of water can be more effective at perking us up and giving us energy than that cup of coffee. Never would I be so rash as to eliminate said coffee. But starting my morning out with a glass of water and a few drops of lemon or lime essential oil has really made a difference in my ability think clearly in the morning and the way I feel the rest of the day. Carry your bottle with you where ever you are and track how much you drink. set a goal of eight glasses a day and see how you feel. You might be surprised at the difference. I really feel the loss of it when I neglect this part of my day. Caring for yourself does not mean indulging in that sugary Starbucks latte because you only live once. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but truly caring for yourself and your body means giving it what it truly needs. Not just what it wants.
Set a schedule… and stick to it.
This is perhaps the most important of all. I’m really good and writing a cute little color coded schedule for all my important things in life… and completely forgetting to look at it ever again. I can be a very organized person. Not my worst quality. However, my lack of follow through has turned that organization to chaos more times than I can count. Actually, that might be the thing that has been on the most predictable schedule of all. Breaking that cycle has been the hardest part of my upward progress to productivity. But the goals are ahead of me one by one and, though I don’t get up at four every morning to blaze the trail, I see a huge shift in my well-being when is stick to the activities I have planned for myself. For example, I made the determination to never go to bed with a dirty kitchen. I used to be in the habit of straightening my house up before bed but leaving the dishes until morning. After carefully examining why my mornings were so rushed and difficult I noticed that one contributing factor was my dirty kitchen. This led to being late, no breakfast etc. etc. Just this small shift in my routine helped me so much. Now, I wake up to a clean kitchen that smells fresh, a welcoming coffee pot ready to go and a much happier attitude. So look at your daily routine. Is it lacking structure? Are there things that just don’t work for you or make it harder to get things done? Make a schedule, write it down and the do your best to implement those things in your life.
There really is a vast ocean of things that can qualify as self care. Surely there are a dozen other things that I have not mentioned that help me get through the day. What helps me may be different than what helps you. But these few things can really be the starting point you need, they certainly were for me and continue to be. Taking the time to analyze what that is for you as an individual can be challenging. But I promise you, starting small is so much better than not starting at all. Just, take care.

Mom Tip July 19

Hey Modern Family! I just wanted to post a quick tip I tried out tonight and am super excited about. Noise canceling earmuffs for baby.

My family and I went out to see The Lion King. (that’s another review in itself) This was Parker’s first movie theater experience and I wanted him to sleep through it if possible, and protect his sensitive hearing as well. I bought a pair of the baby earmuffs on Amazon in preparation for a concert we’re going to see next month and decided to try them out.

I wasn’t disappointed! He slept like a dream through all the loud moments and they didn’t seem to irritate him at all. The quiet actually seemed to calm and relax him despite all the other potential sensory overloading things going on. I will be using these All. The. Time. Definitely keep these babies in your mom toolbox.

(Click pic to link)

Hugs-

Kourt

Mom Jeans or Fashion On Point?

I have to be honest. Most of the time, my “fashion” consists of some short and tee combo that’s one step above jammies. I don’t feel the need to be a fashionista 24/7. I do, however, like to keep up on the latest trends to see whether or not they will fit my esthetic for the times I do put a little more effort into my look. One such trend that has come back around in recent years are high-waisted jeans. I remember a time when wearing anything but low rise was a crime. Muffin-top reigned supreme. Whale tails were a daily sighting. While this is nothing to be proud of, I still needed some deprogramming. One recent experience did not help me in accepting my high-waisted fate.

So, I was strolling through Target last week thanking the heavens that I was there alone (i.e no crying baby) when I stumbled upon something that I wasn’t too sure about. In what I consider to be the teen section, were dozens of high-waisted jeans that were literally called “Mom Jeans”. Really? Mom Jeans?!

“Don’t give your mom that bottle of perfume. Give her something that says: ‘I’m not a woman anymore. I’m a mom!'”

Oh, SNL. You never disappoint.

I found these light wash, button front, pleated Mom Jeans from Wild Fable. I had to try them on! This was going to be hilarious. Keep in mind, I am not a size zero teenybopper. I’m a real mom. Size 12. Baby belly. The works.

I felt like I was having a reverse Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants moment. They seemed so oversized while holding them up.

Then I put them on.

Just what every woman wants! Let’s emphasize our belly pooch, make our butt look as wide as possible while simultaneously giving us the worst camel toe of our lives! Yes!

At this point, I was almost missing my low-rise struggles. Who cares if I have to pull up my pants every three steps? Just get me out of this mom jean nightmare.

Needless to say, these did not make it to my closet. I put them right back on the shelf for some sixteen year old to pick up so she can live out her 1980’s, Molly Ringwald ala Breakfast Club fantasies. More power to her. I’ll take the perfume, thanks.

This doesn’t mean that I haven’t been successful on my high-waisted journey. There have been some hits along with the misses. Check out my next fashion blog for recommendations!

Hugs-

Kourt

When Allergy Season Is a Way of Life

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with allergies. When you hear someone say that, (I’m guilty of it myself) it’s easy to dismiss as not a big deal. But living with it day in and day out – the headaches, the sinus pressure, the snot, the sneezing, the exhaustion and that unrelenting itchy skin- can run you mad. Life goes on despite your anaphylactic agony and you must find a way to cope. I was at the end of my rope with OTC allergy medicine that made my symptoms worse. I was taking several pills a day with only tiredness and nosebleeds to show for it. Just when I thought there was no hope for me, I was introduced to doTerra TriEase softgels. It contains Lavender, Lemon and Peppermint oil. I was skeptical. Really?! Mountains of medication won’t work but three simple essential oils will? I tried two softgels on one particularly difficult night and was amazed by the results. Now, it didn’t take away my symptoms completely. That’s okay! I’ve always had allergies. I will always have them. It did, however, relieve the intensity of my allergy attack and over the next two months, my symptoms slowly improved with daily use. I now take it as needed without any other allergy medicine. Coupled with the aromatherapeutic use of these oils as well as Rosemary, I have finally hit upon a solution. I cannot recommend this enough. Not only does it work, it’s cost effective to boot! (twenty dollars for off-brand Claritin?!?!) While I’m not a doctor and cannot say this will work for everybody, it is totally worth a try. Two thumbs up!

Product Review – Natural Options for Baby

In this day and age, you will generally be able to find a natural alternative to just about anything. Products for babies are no exception. Here are a few that I have tried recently and some of my thoughts.

1. Babyganics SPF 50 Mineral Sunscreen

My son is creamy white so sunscreen is vital. I love this product for its staying power and lack of nasty ingredients. I keep this in my purse for all occasions. My only issue is the difficulty I have rubbing it in. It is not great with absorption. By the time I’ve covered him in a nice protective layer, he’s not too happy with me. I miss the convenience of a spray sunscreen.

Do I recommend? Yes, if you don’t mind the white cast it leaves.

3/5 stars.

2. Shea Moisture BABY Chamomile and Argan Oil

First off, I will say that I am a huge fan of the Shea Moisture brand in general. I’ve used their products for some time and usually I’m impressed. Even when some something doesn’t work for me in particular, I can tell it’s a quality product. The baby line lives up to expectations. The healing lotion did wonders for my son’s dry skin patches and absorbs nicely. The only problem (and really this is a matter of personal preference) is the smell. There is something a little off for a baby product in my opinion. But this is a minor inconvenience that is worth dealing with for all the benefits.

Do I recommend? Yes!

4/5 stars.

3. Earth Mama Calming Lavender Foaming Wash

Earth Mama is a great brand. This shampoo smells wonderful and it really cleans up your baby effectively. There’s no yucky ingredients and I love the foaming pump. But… I HATE the squeaky, bar soap feeling it leaves on the skin. This is not moisturizing at all.

Do I recommend? Mmm… No. Not really.

2/5 stars.

4. Burt’s Bees Baby Calming Wash

Ahh Burt’s Bees! I rarely have complaints with regard to this brand. This includes their baby products. I particularly love anything containing lavender. This is great to use before bedtime or while teething because of its calming effects. Love, love, love!

Do I recommend? Yes!

5/5 stars.

Drop a comment below with your favorite natural baby products. I’d love to try them out!

hugs-

Kourt

My Birth Story – Parker David

“Whenever and however you give birth, your experience will impact your emotions, your mind, your body and your spirit for the rest of your life.” – Ina May Gaskin

These words carry a very special truth known by mothers all over the world. Giving birth will impact you for the good or for the bad. I truly believe that whether you give birth at home, in a birthing center, a hospital or out in the woods, it can be a wonderful experience. For me, the key to this was knowing myself and my needs (as much as any first time mom can know) and planning well for them.

My personal experience was in a hospital with an OB/GYN and an amazing nursing staff. This environment was just what I needed to feel comfortable and cared for. I was in labor for thirty-six hours.

Thirty. Six. Hours.

With each eight hour shift change, came a new labor and delivery nurse. I owe every one of those women a debt of gratitude. They made the difference between a positive experience, and a dreadful one. I am so incredibly grateful to have had such a wonderful team. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start at my forty week check up.

Full Term

As a blissfully ignorant mom-to-be, I was sure that I would not make it a day past forty weeks. Parker had been sitting low in my pelvis and I had been dilated to one centimeter for some time. I was positive it would be any day now. As I sat there waiting for my doctor to arrive, I was trying to comfort myself with the knowledge that I would soon see my sweet little baby and this never ending cycle of doctors would soon be over. I did not anticipate the long road that lay ahead of me.

As I saw forty-one weeks closing in on me, I felt that I could not mentally and emotionally handle being pregnant for one more day let alone another week. I chose to schedule an induction at forty-one weeks and one day. Pregnancy was an amazing time, but it came with its difficulties as well. Knowing that there was an end in sight brought me great relief. All the planning was done, bags were packed and preparations made. Now I could focus all my attention on my one and only job. Birthing this baby.

On Friday October 27, 2018 at 7:00pm, we made our last walk as a childless couple.

Little did we know, we would not meet Parker for two more days.

Being Induced

Oh boy, what a process this is. I will try to be as concise as possible. First thing after all the papers are in order and they lead you to your Labor and Delivery room, you will undress and put on that oh-so-lovely hospital gown. I couldn’t help but be reminded of a hilarious (and appropriate) comedy bit by Jim Gaffigan. “Perhaps this is a gown someone died in yesterday…” I thought to myself.

Next, you get your IV. Ugh! The dreaded IV. I should mention that I have Vasovagel Syncope which means, as google says: “A sudden drop in heart rate and blood pressure leading to fainting, often in reaction to a stressful trigger.” So it might sounds silly, but the IV was one of the scariest parts for me. My nurse was amazing and really knew her stuff, so this went without a hitch. Whew!

Soon after, I took the first of three doses of Cytotec. This is a drug used to prevent ulcers in those who take NSAIDs on the regular. They have found that it is helpful in inducing labor, so we started with this.

After several hours without effect, I was then proscribed Pitocin. This slowly began my labor. What took place over the next twenty-eight or so hours is a bit of a blur, honestly. Exhaustion had set in. I had constant adjustments to the baby monitor, several rounds of heavy (and painful) antibiotics via IV, multiple (and more painful!) cervix checks and, mercifully, an epidural.

These were the trying aspects of labor. They were just a blip on the radar, however, compared to the overwhelming relief and joy I felt as I saw my son’s face for the first time. At 9:19am on October 29, 2018, surrounded by loving family and friends, Parker was born! He was absolutely perfect.

I couldn’t believe it! After nine months, I wasn’t pregnant anymore. But now I was a mom! A MOM!

Ina May was indeed correct when she said giving birth would change my life forever, and I was so happy.

Stay tuned for my post-birth recovery blog next week!