Category Archives: Mom Tips

It has been two years since I’ve put pen to paper (or fingers to keys in this case) to write out my thoughts on motherhood and mental health. Nose to the grindstone, I guess.

My son is within a few weeks of his fifth birthday, though, and I find myself wondering if the effects of postpartum run, not in an immediate spike then a downward turn that leads you back to your old self but rather in a straight line that continues indefinitely. Most days are filled to the point of blurriness and energy seems to be more and more of an elusive dream and yet I find motherhood to be equally as energizing as it is exhausting. (Eh, maybe 60-40) A feeling unlike anything I have ever experienced before. The physical and emotional drain is concurrent with a stronger mental determination to keep moving forward that is unshakable.

I recently likened motherhood to an energy source. Our precious offspring are in a constant state of growth and development requiring an unending need for attention, love, food, physical touch, warmth, safety, care and, essentially, energy. Where do they plug into this energy supply? You. Mom. You are their constant source. Like the cutest little leeches you’ve ever seen, your babies suck the vital force from your body and mind on a constant, daily basis. This is not to demonize motherhood as a fate worse than death. Rather, to affirm the feelings and struggles silently experienced by mothers in all corners of the world. Women feeling that even the mention of such struggles would somehow betray her love of her child. She swallows it back with her Lexapro and morning espresso.

Yet, despite this depletion, we find ourselves ferociously fighting on behalf of our babies without relenting.  This is something that needs to be acknowledged, celebrated even. Not in the kitschy coffee mug way. I mean in substantial appreciation and understanding from others. You show up every day with your own battles being shoved aside.  I’m fortunate to have a supportive circle of loved ones, but I know this is not the case for everyone. Not even the majority, sad to say. So, if you see a mommy with a sour expression on her face in the grocery line or looks like she “let herself go” because she chose leggings and a sweatshirt over sexy jeans and makeup, please give her some grace. She’s trying. She’s breaking generational curses. She’s lying awake at night thinking of homeschool curriculums and how she’s going to convince her four-year-old to eat dinner and pray they grow to be strong and healthy despite only eating protein bars and chicken nuggets and licking the Target carts. She has a little, beautiful, sparkling life that’s plugged in to her and all she wants in the world is for them to have a full battery.

So it’s been a while.
The last six months have been a definite learning lesson in so many ways. One thing I have learned, and I cannot stress it enough, is the value of self-care. I’m not talking about being self-centered or self-obsessed. These things are promoted so much in the world today and that’s not what I’m about. Caring for yourself, on the other hand, is a form of caring for others. This is a lesson that has been hard learned for me as well as my husband. While we are still on this journey ( have just begun it, in fact ) and have by no means mastered it in our lives, we have found out just how important it is.
Each person has their own unique make-up and genetic code. There is no exact formula that works for everyone. We all have to find out what works for us. Some people can sleep for four hours and proceed to have a thoroughly productive day. Others sleep for ten and still can’t seem to make it through without multiple trips to he coffee machine. (that’s me) One thing self-care is not, however, is thinking we can do whatever feels right to us at any given moment and that’s all that matters. Sometimes its being aware enough to know we need boundaries and being brave enough to set them for ourselves. Know your limits and respect them. Be open to adjusting and adapting. Set goals for yourself and if something is not working for you, change it! Here are a few things I’ve noticed to be helpful and maybe you can relate.

1. Stop the binge.
   TV. Snacks. Even exercise and sleep! whenever I’m feeling out of control emotionally and just plain awful physically, usually there is something I’m not balancing. Binge-watching my favorite show feels like an escape and a respite I need in that moment, but inevitably I’ve neglected some important task or simply stayed idle so long that my back hurts worse than when I started. But busting out a two hour booty boot camp out of guilt after spending six months on the couch will hurt me more than help. That’s why my motivational word for 2020 is BALANCE. Doing nothing is harmful but doing everything is impossible. Find your balance and resist the urge be all or nothing.
2. Communicate.
   Being an island never served anyone. Some of the worst days I have ever been through were a result of a lack of communication. My husband, Matt, is the sort to take the world on his shoulders and soldier on through difficulties in a mask of stoic silence. While the ability to carry on through tough times is such an admirable quality, our bodies and brains were not created to hold it all in indefinitely. Find someone you trust and tell them what’s going on with you. It doesn’t have to be pretty or make sense. Just talk. Not everyone will understand and that’s okay. they don’t have to. Just saying how we feel out loud is a therapy in itself. Not on Facebook or Twitter but real, face-to-face communication. And every once in a while, a person does understand. Sometimes more than we could even imagine. It’s hard to break away from the trivial and get down to the nitty-gritty. It is hard to put your trust in someone enough to share who you are deep inside because you might get hurt, i know. But do it. Talk to your friend, partner, parent or sibling. share the load, it makes it lighter.
3. Have Fun!
   Whoever said laughter is the best medicine is, like, really smart.
   Last Saturday, all I wanted to do was sleep. I felt so mentally exhausted and was in one of those head spaces where you feel like none of your friends actually like you and your just so lame that you should probably stay home. Everyone will just be focused on the fact that I’ve gained weight since having my baby and maybe they see me different now. I do. Ugh! (Boo Hoo Pity Party. Table for one.) I usually love being with my friends and crave socializing and connecting with people. Sometimes, though, our brain lies to us and it’s hard not to listen. Harder still to get out of the negative mindset. This particular Saturday we were invited to a family dance party at a friend’s house and decided to get out of our own way and go. It was so good for us. We were really feeling the love and laughing hysterically at everyone’s antics. After a couple hours, I found myself completely turned around and lip-syncing my favorite songs with gusto. (Wham!, is that you?) Watching my one-year-old son dance his way across the floor with his sagging diaper and bottle of milk definitely helped too.
   Life is hard and busy and crazy but taking the time to just put it away for a few hours and have some genuine fun can really carry you through. Don’t pass up opportunities to let your hair down. In fact, create those opportunities. Find the ones in your life that lift you up, and make it happen. Call them for coffee or a walk by the river. Have them to your house and cook together or play a game. (Catan, anyone?) It can be the healing we need to see things the way they are and not they way we think they are.
4. Drink Water
   It sounds simple, right? But oh how important! It’s so easy to get dehydrated, especially in these cold winter months. All I want to drink is coffee and tea and more coffee. Maybe some wine. But walking around trying to function and use your brain is hard enough. Not drinking water starves our brain and makes everything harder. I have heard it said that drinking a nice, cold glass of water can be more effective at perking us up and giving us energy than that cup of coffee. Never would I be so rash as to eliminate said coffee. But starting my morning out with a glass of water and a few drops of lemon or lime essential oil has really made a difference in my ability think clearly in the morning and the way I feel the rest of the day. Carry your bottle with you where ever you are and track how much you drink. set a goal of eight glasses a day and see how you feel. You might be surprised at the difference. I really feel the loss of it when I neglect this part of my day. Caring for yourself does not mean indulging in that sugary Starbucks latte because you only live once. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but truly caring for yourself and your body means giving it what it truly needs. Not just what it wants.
5. Set a schedule… and stick to it.
   This is perhaps the most important of all. I’m really good and writing a cute little color coded schedule for all my important things in life… and completely forgetting to look at it ever again. I can be a very organized person. Not my worst quality. However, my lack of follow through has turned that organization to chaos more times than I can count. Actually, that might be the thing that has been on the most predictable schedule of all. Breaking that cycle has been the hardest part of my upward progress to productivity. But the goals are ahead of me one by one and, though I don’t get up at four every morning to blaze the trail, I see a huge shift in my well-being when is stick to the activities I have planned for myself. For example, I made the determination to never go to bed with a dirty kitchen. I used to be in the habit of straightening my house up before bed but leaving the dishes until morning. After carefully examining why my mornings were so rushed and difficult I noticed that one contributing factor was my dirty kitchen. This led to being late, no breakfast etc. etc. Just this small shift in my routine helped me so much. Now, I wake up to a clean kitchen that smells fresh, a welcoming coffee pot ready to go and a much happier attitude. So look at your daily routine. Is it lacking structure? Are there things that just don’t work for you or make it harder to get things done? Make a schedule, write it down and the do your best to implement those things in your life.
   There really is a vast ocean of things that can qualify as self care. Surely there are a dozen other things that I have not mentioned that help me get through the day. What helps me may be different than what helps you. But these few things can really be the starting point you need, they certainly were for me and continue to be. Taking the time to analyze what that is for you as an individual can be challenging. But I promise you, starting small is so much better than not starting at all. Just, take care.

Hey Modern Family! I just wanted to post a quick tip I tried out tonight and am super excited about. Noise canceling earmuffs for baby.

My family and I went out to see The Lion King. (that’s another review in itself) This was Parker’s first movie theater experience and I wanted him to sleep through it if possible, and protect his sensitive hearing as well. I bought a pair of the baby earmuffs on Amazon in preparation for a concert we’re going to see next month and decided to try them out.

I wasn’t disappointed! He slept like a dream through all the loud moments and they didn’t seem to irritate him at all. The quiet actually seemed to calm and relax him despite all the other potential sensory overloading things going on. I will be using these All. The. Time. Definitely keep these babies in your mom toolbox.

(Click pic to link)

Hugs-

Kourt

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with allergies. When you hear someone say that, (I’m guilty of it myself) it’s easy to dismiss as not a big deal. But living with it day in and day out – the headaches, the sinus pressure, the snot, the sneezing, the exhaustion and that unrelenting itchy skin- can run you mad. Life goes on despite your anaphylactic agony and you must find a way to cope. I was at the end of my rope with OTC allergy medicine that made my symptoms worse. I was taking several pills a day with only tiredness and nosebleeds to show for it. Just when I thought there was no hope for me, I was introduced to doTerra TriEase softgels. It contains Lavender, Lemon and Peppermint oil. I was skeptical. Really?! Mountains of medication won’t work but three simple essential oils will? I tried two softgels on one particularly difficult night and was amazed by the results. Now, it didn’t take away my symptoms completely. That’s okay! I’ve always had allergies. I will always have them. It did, however, relieve the intensity of my allergy attack and over the next two months, my symptoms slowly improved with daily use. I now take it as needed without any other allergy medicine. Coupled with the aromatherapeutic use of these oils as well as Rosemary, I have finally hit upon a solution. I cannot recommend this enough. Not only does it work, it’s cost effective to boot! (twenty dollars for off-brand Claritin?!?!) While I’m not a doctor and cannot say this will work for everybody, it is totally worth a try. Two thumbs up!

In this day and age, you will generally be able to find a natural alternative to just about anything. Products for babies are no exception. Here are a few that I have tried recently and some of my thoughts.

1. Babyganics SPF 50 Mineral Sunscreen

My son is creamy white so sunscreen is vital. I love this product for its staying power and lack of nasty ingredients. I keep this in my purse for all occasions. My only issue is the difficulty I have rubbing it in. It is not great with absorption. By the time I’ve covered him in a nice protective layer, he’s not too happy with me. I miss the convenience of a spray sunscreen.

Do I recommend? Yes, if you don’t mind the white cast it leaves.

3/5 stars.

2. Shea Moisture BABY Chamomile and Argan Oil

First off, I will say that I am a huge fan of the Shea Moisture brand in general. I’ve used their products for some time and usually I’m impressed. Even when some something doesn’t work for me in particular, I can tell it’s a quality product. The baby line lives up to expectations. The healing lotion did wonders for my son’s dry skin patches and absorbs nicely. The only problem (and really this is a matter of personal preference) is the smell. There is something a little off for a baby product in my opinion. But this is a minor inconvenience that is worth dealing with for all the benefits.

Do I recommend? Yes!

4/5 stars.

3. Earth Mama Calming Lavender Foaming Wash

Earth Mama is a great brand. This shampoo smells wonderful and it really cleans up your baby effectively. There’s no yucky ingredients and I love the foaming pump. But… I HATE the squeaky, bar soap feeling it leaves on the skin. This is not moisturizing at all.

Do I recommend? Mmm… No. Not really.

2/5 stars.

4. Burt’s Bees Baby Calming Wash

Ahh Burt’s Bees! I rarely have complaints with regard to this brand. This includes their baby products. I particularly love anything containing lavender. This is great to use before bedtime or while teething because of its calming effects. Love, love, love!

Do I recommend? Yes!

5/5 stars.

Drop a comment below with your favorite natural baby products. I’d love to try them out!

hugs-

Kourt

As a first time mom anticipating the birth of my son, I packed my hospital bag at 28 weeks. To say I was over prepared is an understatement. I’m going to share a list of the things I really needed (and a few extras I was grateful I had). Not every mom-to-be plans to give birth in a hospital, but if you do, this might be helpful.

1. Needed Paperwork.

First and foremost, you need to make sure you have all the proper documentation. While every hospital is different, making sure you have your ID, insurance cards on hand is important. Also, you need to register with Labor and Delivery well before your due date so you don’t have to sign a bunch of papers while you’re in labor. If you have an advance directive, be sure to provide the hospital with a copy when you register as well.

2. Post-Birth Recovery Items.

My hospital provided an awesome kit with all the essentials. A peri-bottle, DermaPlast, Tucks, mesh undies, and pads the size of a smart car. Most likely, you will not have to bring any of these items with you to the hospital. They are all perfect for an at home recovery kit though. (That’s another blog.) What I did bring, however, was a package of Always Discreet Boutique depend-style underwear. I found these to be more comfortable and efficient than the mesh underwear/pad combo after the first day. I also brought Earth Mama organic nipple butter that was soothing during the initial breastfeeding struggles. I preferred it over the Lansinoh they provided for me. Other than these two items, everything I needed was there for me as far as recovery goes. No need to bring the entire drug store with you, as I did.

3. Clothing.

After spending 36 hours in a hospital gown, my cotton jammies and ten dollar Walmart slippers felt like I was swathed head to toe in Vicuña wool. Definitely pack enough loose fitting pajamas and either socks or slippers for the two to three days you will be spending in the hospital. You will also need clothes to go home in. I chose a maxi skirt and a tee shirt. Definitely skip the jeans. That would be torture.

4. Toiletries.

Unless you like washing your hair with Dial soap, pack some shower supplies. After giving birth, you may not care either way. But if you’re particular, I’d recommend packing your own shampoo, conditioner, body wash and face wash. Travel size is perfect since you’re only going to shower once. After so many hours in the circulated air my lips were dry and chapped so chapstick is a must. I’m the kind of person who feels human only after I’ve applied concealer and blush so I packed a small bag of makeup. Most women don’t care in the least about that so if that’s you, skip it. And then of course, toothbrush and toothpaste.

5. Cell Phone and Charger.

There’s long hours of waiting and about a million people to keep in contact with so make sure your phone is charged and accessible. I put a few games and music on mine to help pass the time during early labor.

6. Essential Oils and a Diffuser

Diffusing oils like lavender or Doterra Balance blend really helped create a calm atmosphere in my room. Relaxing is priority number one while in labor.

7. Snacks.

Especially are snacks important for all the lovely family and friends that are waiting for your little bundle to arrive. The hours can be long and hard for everyone, not just mama. Food and water are essential to keeping everyone’s strength up. Nobody wants their significant other to pass out from lack of nutrition while cutting the cord. Not to mention that you will be hungry after you give birth… for like two months. Best to have something yummy on hand right away.

8. Baby Items.

Most likely your hospital or birthing center will have everything you need for your baby right there. I was even sent home with a little kit that contained a swaddle blanket, hat, shirt and a carrying case. Even so, I brought a cute outfit for him to go home in, a couple diapers just in case there is a lag between times they refill the bassinet, a thick baby blanket and car seat, of course. I didn’t even use all the other items I loaded down his diaper bag with. My suggestion is to travel light in this area.

9. Miscellaneous Items.

There were a few things I brought just for comfort. My own pillow and blanket made me feel more at home. Small, battery operated speakers for calming music. Vitamin water for when I wanted a little something tastier than plain ice water. Really, anything particular to you that makes you feel calm and happy. This time is all about you and your baby. Do whatever it takes to make it the best experience possible.

10. Birth Plan.

While not required, it is really helpful to bring a written copy of any special needs, requests or preferences to put in your file or in your room so that everyone is on the same page and you will have what you want and need. I was really happy I did this because when I was laboring and being poked and prodded, it was hard to think clear and decide what I wanted in each situation. While you can’t anticipate everything that comes up, it’s nice to have an idea ahead of time what you want and don’t want.

All in all, I would say that you won’t actually need every single thing you pack. There was so much already provided for me by the hospital. But these items made my experience a little easier. Whatever you want to bring to make that happen, just bring it! The most important thing is to focus on why you are there and the absolute miracle of having a baby. Enjoy every moment!

As moms, especially new moms, we are always thinking of our child’s safety. We make sure the car seat is installed correctly. Ensure their food is cut into small enough pieces so as to avoid choking. We take their temperature the first sign of fever, and so on.

Sometimes things develop in the home that we may not readily think about being a danger to our families. One such danger that hits close to home *no pun intended* for me this week is mold.

Mold thrives in damp environments. Anytime there is a water leak or poor air circulation, mold will grow. A couple weeks ago, while my husband replaced the floor of our bathroom, he discovered harmful mold spores in the floorboards and three feet up the drywall. He decided to take a closer look at other places in the home and unfortunately discovered the same problem. Mold, mold, mold. Being renters and not homeowners, we had no choice but to vacate. (You can imagine how fun my week has been.)

I decided to take a look at some of the dangers of living in a moldy environment. Here’s a list of some of the milder effects that most people will experience.

• Nasal and sinus congestion

Runny Nose

Wheezing and difficulty breathing

Chest tightness

Cough

Throat irritation

Sneezing

I had every single one! These symptoms my seem mild but with prolonged exposure, they can increase dramatically. Especially is this a concern if you have underlying conditions such as asthma. Depending on the type of mold, it could even produce mycotoxins that can cause more severe, dangerous disorders. Scary business in my opinion!

So while you baby proof the medicine cabinet and put safety locks on your door handles, you might want to check around your home for signs of mold. You never know what potentially harmful outcome you could protect your family from. Better safe than moldy!

Lavender, oh how I love thee!

I have been using lavender essential oil for about 12 years for various things, mainly for diffusing in my home at night to promote better sleep. I LOVE the scent and the calming effect. But recently I have discovered it’s magical benefits for a teething baby.

There have been moments over the past few months that I wondered whether I gave birth to a tiny human, or a rabid honey badger. Teethers, soothing gels and even baby Tylenol in desperate moments can be helpful with managing their pain. I continue to use all of these methods to keep boy from climbing the walls in teething agony.

Adding lavender to this mix has been wonderful. Not for the pain management necessarily, but for helping him come down from that inconsolable state of hyperactivity.

Add a few drops to your baby’s lotion or coconut oil and give them a good rub down. Focus on massaging their back and feet with firm, even motions. When you’ve finished, why not apply a little to yourself? Our babies aren’t the only ones who suffer through the 437 years it takes to grow those little chompers.

Reduce Stress.

If I asked you when the last time you were stressed out, you’d probably laugh. These days, it seems like stress and anxiety are just a way of life. We can’t remove the things in our life that cause stress but there are some things we can do to help. The tip of the day may seem simple, but it can be such a challenge to make a priority. If I asked you when the last time you sat down on your couch or in the tub with your beverage of choice simply to relax and reduce stressful feelings, it might be hard to remember. I find myself getting distracted on social media or or trying to work or pay bills while I’m supposed to be relaxing and it just doesn’t work. While it’s nice to sit and drink my tea or wine at night, kick my feet up and still get things done, this does nothing for resting my thoughts and emotions from the pressures of daily living. Our bodies AND minds need a break to recharge. There are so many tips I can share on this subject and I will probably get to all of them eventually. However, the most simple way to do this is to just log off your electronic devices, find a quiet place, breathe in a deep, cleansing breath and think about the things you are especially grateful for. Even just ten minutes a day has done wonders for shifting my mood and redirecting negative thoughts and feelings. It has been said that gratitude is an antidote to unhappiness. Simple? Yes. Does it work? Definitely.

Boy, what a weekend! First I’ll start with the tip of the day and then explain why.

If you just want to buzz into a store or run a quick errand and your back can’t take one more trip with that loaded down diaper bag, take a small sized makeup bag and tightly roll up a onesie, a diaper and a travel size tube of diaper cream (if necessary) and slip them in the makeup bag. For messier needs, you can take one or two diaper wipes and put them in a sandwich baggie and tightly roll them and put them in the bag as well. Now you have an emergency cleanup kit to throw in your purse or carry alone that doesn’t take up much space (or weigh more than your kid) in case you experience what I did…

So there I was standing in the Old Navy check out line with sweat dripping down the back of my legs (why is it always so hot in there?!) secretly begging for a clerk to stop folding shirts and open one more register for the the love of all that is holy so I can just go home and be done with this day. Mind you, my sweet six month old was also so very, very done and at this point I basically tuned out his low-key whining and hoped he would just go to sleep. As he continued to increase his efforts to get my attention I finally took pity on my poor, sweaty baby boy and decided it wouldn’t be that difficult to just take him out of that detestable stroller and cuddle him while we were waiting. With one swift movement, I proceeded to smear butterscotch ripple straight from his overworked Huggie all over my left arm, my dress, the stroller straps and every inch of his little outfit. It looked like we just took first prize in a mud run sponsored by Frenches Mustard. The poor older woman behind us in line looked equally as desperate to get out of that store and the display she just witnessed about sent her over the proverbial edge. In fact, I think she would have rather eaten her right arm than deal with this stressed out mommie and the smell emanating from our vicinity. But what could I do? You bet your butt I wasn’t losing the place in line I worked so hard for. But I was utterly stuck. No wipes, no diaper bag, nothing. Thank goodness I had my sister Sarah of Sarah’s Library there with me for this epic moment of motherhood. She took home the auntie gold medal for her act of heroism. While she scooped up my bundle of crying, stinky joy and took him to the car for a change, I was able to make it through the line without further incident. But I tell you, there was nothing like the poop covered walk of shame I took over what seemed like six hundred miles between Old Navy and my car.