Started From the Bottom Now We’re… Back at the Bottom

Today I feel a kindred connection to Jo March as she cried in the night on behalf of her ‘one beauty’. Long story short, I botched my hair. My 4-month grow out journey turned the clock back to zero. What started as a simple root touch up turned into a 48-hour test of my sanity. Walking into Sally’s Beauty Supply store for the fourth time in two days, crying and wrestling with my frantic child was a sight to see, let me tell you! The look of horror on the rainbow-haired Gen Z’s faces when my red Prius pulled into the front lot yet again was worthy of a polaroid. But I swallowed my pride, donned my beanie, and marched to the hair color isle with my hairdresser best friend on FaceTime. With patience and grace, she held my hand (virtually), reassuring me that everybody makes mistakes and it’s nothing that a 5N can’t fix.

Feeling a sense of relief (and sheepishness) I throw back the hair color swatches that my son ripped off the shelf while I was distracted and march us both over to the cash register. Without missing a beat, the adorable girl with a giant septum piercing asked, “Didn’t you just buy bleach and toner?” Humbled, I tried desperately to think of a reasonable response. Thankfully, my son has impeccable timing and made all the girls laugh by asking if the face masks displayed in front of us were poisonous. (I owe you a Happy Meal, little man.) I hurriedly paid and left the store, praying it was the last time.

The weekend that started high hopes of a chin length cool blonde bob ended with a warm red/brown pixie cut. Now, the whole reason I bring this up here on Modern Mommie is this: Hormones change your hair, and it’s the worst. This bleach and toner recipe was not new to me. I was not experimenting with products I’d never used before. I have done this dozens of times! I loved the results and could not quite figure out what the deal was. But looking back, it was all pre-2018. Pre-baby. Since the hormone shifts, my hair just does not lift like it used to. I can’t really explain it, but I know it’s real. To reach the same blonde levels, I must do twice the processing, twice the damage and sometimes it just still does not work at all.

These are just my own observations. It’s not the same for everyone but I have two lessons that I have learned through this awful experience.

1. Just because something worked once, doesn’t mean it will be the exact same next time.

Hormones can affect our natural hair color as well as the way hair color is processed, whether we are at a salon or at home. Even simply the hormonal changes around our cycle. Don’t be blindsided by that. (Seriously, look it up. It’s a real thing.)

• Go to a professional when you are bleaching your hair.

 I feel comfortable touching up my own roots with a simple brown or something. The margin of error is quite a bit less. But my god, please see an experienced hair stylist if you want blonde. It may not be cheap, but it is so worth it. It’s an intricate process. An art. I may look at a Monet or Van Gogh and think I can easily replicate it. How hard can it be, right? It’s hard. Don’t do it. Leave the art to the artist.

So here I am. Started from the bottom now we’re… back at the bottom Drake.